I have been reading Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" after finishing "The Brother's Karamazov". Between those and spending depressing amounts of time uploading other literature onto my kindle, I have realized that I have hardly read the word of God at ALL!!!
God help me, no wonder I feel so fragile. It's no wonder that the spirit is the center of a man, and a weak spirit is as incapable of holding up a body as a weak spine. I've had more fears and anxieties to fight in the last couple weeks that I have in a long time, or at least it's the first time in a while I've been prey on their radar.
:::
Just got back from church, all better.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
I have a headache. But the aspirin is casting it out slowly.
The day after tomorrow I am being sent to "Fire Academy" where we get to play fireman out at some Firefighter training academy up in the mountains for some 12 odd hours - dressing up in the gear and putting out fires. It's for work, since we're the first responders for fire emergencies as well as medical and pretty much everything else.
This is an interesting job, in a lot of ways it reminds me of being an on-call chaplain in St. Paul. Last week I had to respond to a call where a girl was cutting herself to relieve stress and ended up doing a worse job than she'd intended. NOT what I'd want to see, but I guess I'd rather it be me than someone else responding to it. I got to talk to her boyfriend a couple days later and he was very grateful for what we did, and said that she was doing better now. He said I was very "calming".
I seem to have that effect on many people. It's almost like I'm a sedative or something. I remember when I was little my mom would have me read to her to put her to sleep, which was very annoying to me because I want ppl to enjoy a book with me if I'm reading it to them, and if they're asleep that's hardly what I had in mind. Brandy falls asleep when I read to her too.
The first round of Layoffs @ SPU is over, and Safety and Security got through it unscathed, as far as I know. Next year they'll reassess and see if we need to lose more ppl. Praise God I kept my job, I really do like it here. And it's nice being at a job where I expect to stay for longer than two years. I wonder, it would hardly do for them to lay me off now that I'm accepted to go to school here, since I'll (Lord Willing) be bringing in more money with grants etc... than they pay me in a year.
Brandy & Theresa caught a crab at the beach on accident while gathering shells two or three weeks ago. it's a little tiny shore crab (about as big as a dime) with a white carapace. Brandy decided to keep it as a pet and got rocks and sand and a round fishbowl thing to keep it in with barnacles and krill and other tiny sea creatures that came along for the ride in the bucket. She goes to the beach every couple of days to get fresh seawater for the new "aquarium". Then night after she decided to keep it she had a dream where it grew huge and got out of the cage and I was trying to catch it but it was too fast, and then it turned into a dog, like the Scrunt from "Lady in the Water". Hopefully that doesn't happen. When Theresa found it she was washing shells in the sink and it jumped out, and she tried to hit it (Brandy & Theresa like to kill small things that crawl) but only succeeded in knocking off two of it's tiny legs. But yesterday it molted and its legs grew back. Brandy says it looks a lot bigger now, and I laughed and said as long as it doesn't turn into a dog we're all right. She laughed because that's what she was thinking about too.
Just listened to Andrew Petersen's "Far Country" on the drive in tonight, made me tear up. I haven't listened to that album in a long while, but it's so good, especially "Queen of Iowa". His voice is kind of nasal, but the words and the passion make up for it. I remember when Dominic got me that album off Itunes he said it reminded him of me. That whole year it seemed like everything I was reading and listening to had to do with Heaven, the New Heavens and Earth, and the Resurrection. That was a good year but intense. I want that kind of intensity though, I want to be urgent in everything that has to do with Jesus and the Gospel - even if it gives me ulcers. Like the four month period (more like a year off and on) where I was trying to reconcile the accounts of the resurrection in the gospels & that was a huge issue because it would decide whether or not I would be able to believe in the inerrancy of scripture. I want to take all these things seriously, because if they're real, they're pretty much the only things worth taking seriously, and if they're not, than they're not worth "taking" at all.
The last couple weeks I feel like I've been in isolation, all I've been doing is working, I hardly feel like I've been able to spend time with Brandy or the kids, but I haven't really done anything with anyone outside of the house.
Well, that's not entirely true. T.J. and I have been working out about once a week, and I'm almost to the level I was when I'd stopped working out in college! It makes me happy. Although I ran two miles on the treadmill this morning and it took me 18 minutes!!! that's terrible - more of a jog than a run. AND I dropped my Ipod.
But I do want to DO something. Something important. I really need to start getting some bible studies ready.
TJ and I had a long talk about the upper middle class after working out this morning. I don't like the upper middle class, and he wants to be the upper middle class. I guess for me when I think of the upper middle class I think about the seed sown on the thorny ground, where the thorns which were the cares of the world and deceitfulness of riches grew around the plant and choked it. But that doesn't give me any right to dislike them I suppose, I should love them... But I don't trust them.
Almost finished with a book cover for Beth that I promised to do at the beginning of the year...horrible - why do I take so long with everything? I finally got the scanner at work to work and was able to get the image on my computer. T.J. looked through my sketchbook and spent the rest of the hour trying to convince me to go into freelance graphic design and make lots of money. I thought that was funny. Also, it seems like every time I draw people, the guys I draw look like me. I've got to start drawing other guys out of magazines or something to get out of that rut. It comes from having to use myself as a model and getting facial proportions off myself for my concept of what the male face looks like. But it's odd, I don't try and make them look like me.
I want to read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, after reading "Anthem" I really want more. Apparently they're making a movie of it too.
And now I've got to get to work.
The day after tomorrow I am being sent to "Fire Academy" where we get to play fireman out at some Firefighter training academy up in the mountains for some 12 odd hours - dressing up in the gear and putting out fires. It's for work, since we're the first responders for fire emergencies as well as medical and pretty much everything else.
This is an interesting job, in a lot of ways it reminds me of being an on-call chaplain in St. Paul. Last week I had to respond to a call where a girl was cutting herself to relieve stress and ended up doing a worse job than she'd intended. NOT what I'd want to see, but I guess I'd rather it be me than someone else responding to it. I got to talk to her boyfriend a couple days later and he was very grateful for what we did, and said that she was doing better now. He said I was very "calming".
I seem to have that effect on many people. It's almost like I'm a sedative or something. I remember when I was little my mom would have me read to her to put her to sleep, which was very annoying to me because I want ppl to enjoy a book with me if I'm reading it to them, and if they're asleep that's hardly what I had in mind. Brandy falls asleep when I read to her too.
The first round of Layoffs @ SPU is over, and Safety and Security got through it unscathed, as far as I know. Next year they'll reassess and see if we need to lose more ppl. Praise God I kept my job, I really do like it here. And it's nice being at a job where I expect to stay for longer than two years. I wonder, it would hardly do for them to lay me off now that I'm accepted to go to school here, since I'll (Lord Willing) be bringing in more money with grants etc... than they pay me in a year.
Brandy & Theresa caught a crab at the beach on accident while gathering shells two or three weeks ago. it's a little tiny shore crab (about as big as a dime) with a white carapace. Brandy decided to keep it as a pet and got rocks and sand and a round fishbowl thing to keep it in with barnacles and krill and other tiny sea creatures that came along for the ride in the bucket. She goes to the beach every couple of days to get fresh seawater for the new "aquarium". Then night after she decided to keep it she had a dream where it grew huge and got out of the cage and I was trying to catch it but it was too fast, and then it turned into a dog, like the Scrunt from "Lady in the Water". Hopefully that doesn't happen. When Theresa found it she was washing shells in the sink and it jumped out, and she tried to hit it (Brandy & Theresa like to kill small things that crawl) but only succeeded in knocking off two of it's tiny legs. But yesterday it molted and its legs grew back. Brandy says it looks a lot bigger now, and I laughed and said as long as it doesn't turn into a dog we're all right. She laughed because that's what she was thinking about too.
Just listened to Andrew Petersen's "Far Country" on the drive in tonight, made me tear up. I haven't listened to that album in a long while, but it's so good, especially "Queen of Iowa". His voice is kind of nasal, but the words and the passion make up for it. I remember when Dominic got me that album off Itunes he said it reminded him of me. That whole year it seemed like everything I was reading and listening to had to do with Heaven, the New Heavens and Earth, and the Resurrection. That was a good year but intense. I want that kind of intensity though, I want to be urgent in everything that has to do with Jesus and the Gospel - even if it gives me ulcers. Like the four month period (more like a year off and on) where I was trying to reconcile the accounts of the resurrection in the gospels & that was a huge issue because it would decide whether or not I would be able to believe in the inerrancy of scripture. I want to take all these things seriously, because if they're real, they're pretty much the only things worth taking seriously, and if they're not, than they're not worth "taking" at all.
The last couple weeks I feel like I've been in isolation, all I've been doing is working, I hardly feel like I've been able to spend time with Brandy or the kids, but I haven't really done anything with anyone outside of the house.
Well, that's not entirely true. T.J. and I have been working out about once a week, and I'm almost to the level I was when I'd stopped working out in college! It makes me happy. Although I ran two miles on the treadmill this morning and it took me 18 minutes!!! that's terrible - more of a jog than a run. AND I dropped my Ipod.
But I do want to DO something. Something important. I really need to start getting some bible studies ready.
TJ and I had a long talk about the upper middle class after working out this morning. I don't like the upper middle class, and he wants to be the upper middle class. I guess for me when I think of the upper middle class I think about the seed sown on the thorny ground, where the thorns which were the cares of the world and deceitfulness of riches grew around the plant and choked it. But that doesn't give me any right to dislike them I suppose, I should love them... But I don't trust them.
Almost finished with a book cover for Beth that I promised to do at the beginning of the year...horrible - why do I take so long with everything? I finally got the scanner at work to work and was able to get the image on my computer. T.J. looked through my sketchbook and spent the rest of the hour trying to convince me to go into freelance graphic design and make lots of money. I thought that was funny. Also, it seems like every time I draw people, the guys I draw look like me. I've got to start drawing other guys out of magazines or something to get out of that rut. It comes from having to use myself as a model and getting facial proportions off myself for my concept of what the male face looks like. But it's odd, I don't try and make them look like me.
I want to read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, after reading "Anthem" I really want more. Apparently they're making a movie of it too.
And now I've got to get to work.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
So, it looks as if I am going to school after all. I got a financial aid letter the other night saying that I'm getting enough grants and awards to cover almost all of my tuition. I wasn't expecting it, to tell the truth.
So, what this means is that Brandy & I (Lord willing) will be moving up closer to seattle, in the Magnolia/Queen Anne area.
Most of all though I want us to do God's will, I know he didn't have us come all the way out here just so I could go to school. My main prayer is that God will lead us where we need to go, and that he would help us to know when and where to start a bible study, and which church to get involved with up there.
The church here has kind of started to hold us at arms length, at least that's how I feel. The guy in charge of the youth ministry called me last week and said that due to pastor's orders he's taking over Relate again, since he's the Youth leader and all - apparently he'd never cleared handing Relate off to me with the pastor, and once the pastor found out he told Joe that shouldn't be happening. It's just as well since Joe's been taking most of the Relate sessions anyway, the ones that weren't vetoed by special speakers etc...
The pastor here was really encouraging me to start "Men in Turn" -his version of pastoral training, after some coaxing I agreed, and then after putting in all the paperwork I've been chasing him around the past month trying to set up an appointment to meet with him about it, since he said we have to meet first to start the training. I finally got a date from him, and it's going to be another week or so till we can meet to start this thing I filled the paperwork out for last month.
It almost feels like an old school CC St. Paul "Test".
He also kept dropping very strong hints that he wants me to stay here and not move, and become part of the ministry here in CC South, but I encouraged no illusions of that happening, and I think they've finally taken me seriously and are withdrawing...
But, this could all be me being pessimistic. I have a tendency to do that; for instance: if something of mine is missing for a couple days, I assume that it's been stolen and get upset at the hypothetical thief, only to find the "stolen" possession behind the couch or in my closet or wherever I left it last. Why do I think the worst of people?
I finally broke down and shelled out the money to get the (ridiculously expensive) Logos for Mac bible engine, so that I can open up my Oswald Chambers and Francis Schaeffer CD's and hopefully load them on the Kindle.
All this reading... Reading through Brother's Karamazov again, but I just read a quote of John Wesley that struck me:
Beware that you are not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
- John Wesley
Sigh.
So, what this means is that Brandy & I (Lord willing) will be moving up closer to seattle, in the Magnolia/Queen Anne area.
Most of all though I want us to do God's will, I know he didn't have us come all the way out here just so I could go to school. My main prayer is that God will lead us where we need to go, and that he would help us to know when and where to start a bible study, and which church to get involved with up there.
The church here has kind of started to hold us at arms length, at least that's how I feel. The guy in charge of the youth ministry called me last week and said that due to pastor's orders he's taking over Relate again, since he's the Youth leader and all - apparently he'd never cleared handing Relate off to me with the pastor, and once the pastor found out he told Joe that shouldn't be happening. It's just as well since Joe's been taking most of the Relate sessions anyway, the ones that weren't vetoed by special speakers etc...
The pastor here was really encouraging me to start "Men in Turn" -his version of pastoral training, after some coaxing I agreed, and then after putting in all the paperwork I've been chasing him around the past month trying to set up an appointment to meet with him about it, since he said we have to meet first to start the training. I finally got a date from him, and it's going to be another week or so till we can meet to start this thing I filled the paperwork out for last month.
It almost feels like an old school CC St. Paul "Test".
He also kept dropping very strong hints that he wants me to stay here and not move, and become part of the ministry here in CC South, but I encouraged no illusions of that happening, and I think they've finally taken me seriously and are withdrawing...
But, this could all be me being pessimistic. I have a tendency to do that; for instance: if something of mine is missing for a couple days, I assume that it's been stolen and get upset at the hypothetical thief, only to find the "stolen" possession behind the couch or in my closet or wherever I left it last. Why do I think the worst of people?
I finally broke down and shelled out the money to get the (ridiculously expensive) Logos for Mac bible engine, so that I can open up my Oswald Chambers and Francis Schaeffer CD's and hopefully load them on the Kindle.
All this reading... Reading through Brother's Karamazov again, but I just read a quote of John Wesley that struck me:
Beware that you are not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
- John Wesley
Sigh.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Prayer on a Tuesday morning.
I have framed you with so many stones I cannot see your image
I have dressed you up so well I can't see the man
Jesus cut through dust of ages
come into my room
I am full term
don't let me be
don't let me die inside the womb
Men are billions, words are many, you are only one
They have their children, I would be yours,
turn me to a son!
I have framed you with so many stones I cannot see your image
I have dressed you up so well I can't see the man
Jesus cut through dust of ages
come into my room
I am full term
don't let me be
don't let me die inside the womb
Men are billions, words are many, you are only one
They have their children, I would be yours,
turn me to a son!
Monday, March 16, 2009
All that's called gold does not glitter.
I was talking to a good friend a week or two ago who espouses a blend of Buddhism and Agnosticism, which since Buddha himself was something of an agnostic, is almost a natural blend.) -Actually, I think he and I ended up talking about the same thing a couple of months ago when we last went out for coffee.
Anyway, we got on the subject of the "Golden Rule" as it's stated by Buddhism and Christianity. He was saying the virtue of the Buddhist formulation is that it's in the negative, (don't do to others what you would not want done to you) so it keeps you from getting into other people's business.) I can't really remember what I said in response, but I was thinking about it tonight on the drive into work, and I've decided that the version spoken by Jesus Christ is the purest form. I think this because the Buddhist version asks us not to do, whereas do unto others as you would have them do unto you makes plain a fact of human existence:
It's impossible to "not" do.
As human beings, all of our actions (and apparent inactions) require a dictate of the will, even in not doing we have made a choice, and to choose is to do. As human beings, even if we're paraplegic (as long as we're conscious) can't stop willing, can't stop doing. And Jesus' words give a more basic and true to fact exhortation than any negative version can.
I think what got me thinking about it is that I'm reading through Aldous Huxley's "Island" which is a utopian novel showcasing the same themes as his other novel "Brave New World" (therapeutic drugs, therapeutic sex, organizing society) but this time with a walloping dollop of mahayana Buddhism thrown in to make the mix glow. It's about an island where everything is happy and everyone's well adjusted due to population control, buddhist philosophy, tantra, open families and happy mushrooms. It's like the U.N. playbook, and a vision of the best the world has to offer. But he really pushes the Buddhist philosophy and really criticizes Christianity in the book, which is what got me thinking about the conversation I'd had with my friend again.
Now, to practice!
I was talking to a good friend a week or two ago who espouses a blend of Buddhism and Agnosticism, which since Buddha himself was something of an agnostic, is almost a natural blend.) -Actually, I think he and I ended up talking about the same thing a couple of months ago when we last went out for coffee.
Anyway, we got on the subject of the "Golden Rule" as it's stated by Buddhism and Christianity. He was saying the virtue of the Buddhist formulation is that it's in the negative, (don't do to others what you would not want done to you) so it keeps you from getting into other people's business.) I can't really remember what I said in response, but I was thinking about it tonight on the drive into work, and I've decided that the version spoken by Jesus Christ is the purest form. I think this because the Buddhist version asks us not to do, whereas do unto others as you would have them do unto you makes plain a fact of human existence:
It's impossible to "not" do.
As human beings, all of our actions (and apparent inactions) require a dictate of the will, even in not doing we have made a choice, and to choose is to do. As human beings, even if we're paraplegic (as long as we're conscious) can't stop willing, can't stop doing. And Jesus' words give a more basic and true to fact exhortation than any negative version can.
I think what got me thinking about it is that I'm reading through Aldous Huxley's "Island" which is a utopian novel showcasing the same themes as his other novel "Brave New World" (therapeutic drugs, therapeutic sex, organizing society) but this time with a walloping dollop of mahayana Buddhism thrown in to make the mix glow. It's about an island where everything is happy and everyone's well adjusted due to population control, buddhist philosophy, tantra, open families and happy mushrooms. It's like the U.N. playbook, and a vision of the best the world has to offer. But he really pushes the Buddhist philosophy and really criticizes Christianity in the book, which is what got me thinking about the conversation I'd had with my friend again.
Now, to practice!
Monday, March 02, 2009
Worship came out of my eyes
I poured out my soul
through the grate
down a hole
while my Idols lay still
as all idols will
now it's dripping in the dark
it's not like a set of keys
I can't bend hanger and fish it out
for a soul is a slippery thing
best kept for sure hands
and I need yours now
to forgive,
and fish it out.
I poured out my soul
through the grate
down a hole
while my Idols lay still
as all idols will
now it's dripping in the dark
it's not like a set of keys
I can't bend hanger and fish it out
for a soul is a slippery thing
best kept for sure hands
and I need yours now
to forgive,
and fish it out.
Friday, February 27, 2009
I am very thankfully excited that I'm getting (Lord willing, barring disaster or more faulty customer service) a Kindle 2 and the Hebrew Rosetta Stone software. And I should actually be able to use it since Brandy will have her own computer. By the grace of God I'll be speaking the language of the patriarchs in no time, while reading the complete works of George Mac-D, G.K. Chesterton, Thomas Aquinas, and others for pennies! Thank you socialist tax return!
This will rock.
I had to explain to Josiah the other day what a transvestite is.
We were taking a family outing to the mall, and as Josiah and I were walking apart for a bit, I stopped for some reason or other and knelt down, as I did a transvestite came walking past, and I saw josiah do a double take, and stretch his neck out like he does when he's trying to get a better look at something unusual. The poor misguided thing walked past, and josiah watched it go with his little eyebrows scrunched up. Then he patted me on the back and said, "Dad, dad - that guy was wearing girl clothes!" So I said yes, he was, and explained that a small percentage of the population is messed up in the head, and because they don't know Jesus, and they don't know God, they don't know up from down either and want to be girls and want guys to like them so they dress like girls 'cause they think that will help. Josiah shook his head, with a half smirk and raised eyebrows, and laughed again at the silliness of the idea, and said - "ha!, a guy! wearing girl clothes! that's just wierd." Then he asked why the guy didn't believe in Jesus and I told him I wasn't sure, but that there are a lot of weird things like that in this world because lots of people don't know Jesus. Then we re-joined Brandy & the other two kids and headed for the gumball machine.
The Horrors of Customer Service
And the Wonders of Forgiveness.
I don't Know what else our apartment management and Fedex could have in common, but their customer service is one at least.
For the past three weeks ago people have been helping themselves to our parking spot, and we've (for the most part) not been able to catch the people going in or out of their vehicles. So it's been a tossup whether or not we're parking in the "visitor" spot every time we pull in. Half the time it happens when I'm away @ work, and the interlopers stick around until morning. We decided that most of the traffic came from the drug dealers a couple apartments over.
And Fedex was supposed to have delivered Brandy's new Macbook two days ago, but the pkg tracking has for the past two days read "Delivery attempted, residents not home or business closed" which is bogus since we've been doing little else but sitting home looking out the window for the FedEx truck, which never came. So after about five or six calls to their cust. svc line, with five or six different stories and excuses (none of which agreed with each other or made any sense) And three calls to Apple, I discovered that the contract Apple has with Fedex for deliveries dictates they're not allowed to talk to each other (what the heck?!?). So they can't help us. After another couple of calls to Apple I got a guy who gave us a 50.00 credit - nice of him- saying that I could go down to the FedEx hub and pick the pkg up, (which by the way, FedEx was adamant that we couldn't do) So I drove down there anyway in desperation to find a real live person to talk to. I did, a woman @ the actual FedEx office across the st. from the FedEx "home delivery" office (apparently they're private local contractors who work for FedEx but aren't really Fedex employees) who told me to call them again and have them hold the pkg tomorrow and she would go with me down to their office to straighten it out. Then I stopped a Fedex home deliver courier I saw parked in a lot and asked her if she had my computer, (she didn't) and she gave me some useful info that cleared up some of the babble we got over the phone. I've concluded that to people on the phone, the voice on the other end is just that - a voice, some kind of annoying noise that you've got to get off the phone as quick as possible by whatever means necessary. Talking to people in person is so much nicer. And so are the people.
So tomorrow I'm supposed to go down there and pick it up.
Also, I've nearly given myself an ulcer getting angry and frustrated over all this, even after Brandy & I had a talk about forgiveness and when someone has you carry something for them one mile going the extra, how Jesus told us to deal with ppl who step on our "rights", but I forgot in just a day, and went back to working on my ulcer, but today I was reading through James 4 which I was assigned to teach out of for Youth ministry, and the first part about why we get angry - because we want something and don't get it... Yeah. So I got better and prayed with Brandy, who I'd influenced over the past couple days to the point where she was upset and ulcery too, and we read through our Psalms & Proverbs for the day until it all got washed away in the great Antacid of Faith in a faithful God.
And the Wonders of Forgiveness.
I don't Know what else our apartment management and Fedex could have in common, but their customer service is one at least.
For the past three weeks ago people have been helping themselves to our parking spot, and we've (for the most part) not been able to catch the people going in or out of their vehicles. So it's been a tossup whether or not we're parking in the "visitor" spot every time we pull in. Half the time it happens when I'm away @ work, and the interlopers stick around until morning. We decided that most of the traffic came from the drug dealers a couple apartments over.
And Fedex was supposed to have delivered Brandy's new Macbook two days ago, but the pkg tracking has for the past two days read "Delivery attempted, residents not home or business closed" which is bogus since we've been doing little else but sitting home looking out the window for the FedEx truck, which never came. So after about five or six calls to their cust. svc line, with five or six different stories and excuses (none of which agreed with each other or made any sense) And three calls to Apple, I discovered that the contract Apple has with Fedex for deliveries dictates they're not allowed to talk to each other (what the heck?!?). So they can't help us. After another couple of calls to Apple I got a guy who gave us a 50.00 credit - nice of him- saying that I could go down to the FedEx hub and pick the pkg up, (which by the way, FedEx was adamant that we couldn't do) So I drove down there anyway in desperation to find a real live person to talk to. I did, a woman @ the actual FedEx office across the st. from the FedEx "home delivery" office (apparently they're private local contractors who work for FedEx but aren't really Fedex employees) who told me to call them again and have them hold the pkg tomorrow and she would go with me down to their office to straighten it out. Then I stopped a Fedex home deliver courier I saw parked in a lot and asked her if she had my computer, (she didn't) and she gave me some useful info that cleared up some of the babble we got over the phone. I've concluded that to people on the phone, the voice on the other end is just that - a voice, some kind of annoying noise that you've got to get off the phone as quick as possible by whatever means necessary. Talking to people in person is so much nicer. And so are the people.
So tomorrow I'm supposed to go down there and pick it up.
Also, I've nearly given myself an ulcer getting angry and frustrated over all this, even after Brandy & I had a talk about forgiveness and when someone has you carry something for them one mile going the extra, how Jesus told us to deal with ppl who step on our "rights", but I forgot in just a day, and went back to working on my ulcer, but today I was reading through James 4 which I was assigned to teach out of for Youth ministry, and the first part about why we get angry - because we want something and don't get it... Yeah. So I got better and prayed with Brandy, who I'd influenced over the past couple days to the point where she was upset and ulcery too, and we read through our Psalms & Proverbs for the day until it all got washed away in the great Antacid of Faith in a faithful God.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I got my acceptance letter in the mail from SPU today, it reminded me that last night (morning? I don't sleep at night so it must've been yesterday morning after getting home) I had a dream where the current president of SPU was voted out and was getting very surly while being forced to pack up and go. An unlikely and interesting dream, since it has very little chance of coming true and since I know so little about Pres. E. that I am surprised he featured in my dream.
Brandy & I also tried to watch Fight Club which Netflix had sent us because they didn't have the next item on our list readily available. I say "tried" because there was something wrong with the DVD that caused it to get all unbalanced in the DVD player and make an odd sound like a washer on spin cycle. So I took that as a sign of God's displeasure over us trying to watch that particular movie, which I wasn't at all surprised at because I was kind of wondering whether or not we should be watching it in the first place. I mean, I liked it when I watched it as a pagan, I appreciated its critique of American commercialism and inhumanity, but there's just so much to strain the conscience in it too, and I hesitated even trying to watch it. So when its imbalance cause the rumbling of Divine Wrath to emanate from our DVD player, I embarrasedly explained to Brandy my interpretation of this "sign", and we ended up reading Psalms and Proverbs instead, and the first couple chapters of Romans. I'm glad we did. Then I read her a little bit from where we left off in the "Fellowship of the Ring" and had dinner.
And now I'm @ work, praying that no one in Robbins or the Wesleys decides it would be a good idea to get drunk and noisy, and filling out an incident report about a "No Parking" sign that someone ran over.
Brandy & I also tried to watch Fight Club which Netflix had sent us because they didn't have the next item on our list readily available. I say "tried" because there was something wrong with the DVD that caused it to get all unbalanced in the DVD player and make an odd sound like a washer on spin cycle. So I took that as a sign of God's displeasure over us trying to watch that particular movie, which I wasn't at all surprised at because I was kind of wondering whether or not we should be watching it in the first place. I mean, I liked it when I watched it as a pagan, I appreciated its critique of American commercialism and inhumanity, but there's just so much to strain the conscience in it too, and I hesitated even trying to watch it. So when its imbalance cause the rumbling of Divine Wrath to emanate from our DVD player, I embarrasedly explained to Brandy my interpretation of this "sign", and we ended up reading Psalms and Proverbs instead, and the first couple chapters of Romans. I'm glad we did. Then I read her a little bit from where we left off in the "Fellowship of the Ring" and had dinner.
And now I'm @ work, praying that no one in Robbins or the Wesleys decides it would be a good idea to get drunk and noisy, and filling out an incident report about a "No Parking" sign that someone ran over.
I should honestly post more often because whenever I DO sit down to type I can't think of where to begin and what should be left out to make it readable...
The pastor's conference in the beginning of Feb was phenomenal. Not only did they have free espresso drinks and gluttony-provoking food catered in-house, the spiritual food and caffeine was fit to match it. We'd gone hoping mainly for some time together away from the kids (I had been disappointed by a "Men's Rally" sort of conference I'd gone to some weeks before and had very low expectations for the teaching portion) but the sessions were very worthwhile. The drive out was beautiful, I had Brandy read me "The Fellowship of the Ring" for as long as she could (which wasn't very long) but that was just about fine because the scenery through the mountains demanded too much attention to listen anyway. I saw Venus about a hundred feet up in the air, it looked like if I'd climbed to the summit of a nearby mountain I could've touched it. We got to stop at a perkins for breakfast with Jeremiah & Nicole (I haven't had a perkins breakfast in forever, and very few things are as fun as road trip caravan breakfast breaks).
When we were actually at the conference we had some good conversing time with pastor (my father in law) Don, Pastor Seth, & Pastor Chik - who screamed and performed his usual theatre at the catering table enough to make four hundred people stop and stare, until it felt like Appleton.
The conference began with communion and a request that we pray for one another concerning whatever was on our hearts, I asked some nearby brethren to pray for me about our future (to go to school or not, to move closer to Seattle or not, to start a bible study or not) and to keep me from pride (concerning the guys in youth group, who seem to consider me some sort of genius) - yes, I know it's lame to even have to fight pride over the compliments of 18 year olds, but everyone has their weakness, and mine (one of them) is being complimented. And that's exactly why I was begging for prayer. One of the guys all but accused me of repressing my wife who he was sure was just waiting for a chance to cut me down to size, he was sure of this because that's what his wife does. At first I bristled a little, but I figured I'd let him assume whatever he wanted to assume so long as he prayed for me, and if there was anything in need of remedying, God would remedy it. So they prayed for me and I prayed for them, after which I told Brandy about the conversation and asked her if she felt oppressed and if there was anything she would like to say to bring me back to the cold reality of my insufficiency as a human being, and she proceeded to tell me how gifted she thinks I am, which I told her didn't help my pride at all, but did make her seem a lot hotter even than usual.
Then the second speaker covered the subject of pride thoroughly enough to disembowel my self-esteem through my tear ducts, which I take to always be an act of God, and the one two later spoke about the future. Then at the lunch session on the second day P. Chik called me aside to exhort me to get to what we came out here for and start a church before I got old and fogeyey. I also took this to be the voice of God.
So Brandy & I have been praying about the where and how. Last week we went on a drive through the Magnolia district as it is close to the university and has no CC's within a fair radius. It was gorgeous. I declared a major today in the admissions dept, and picked up the requirement sheet for the "Classics" major. I also reveived the news from Fin. Aid that they won't really have anything to say to me re: my Fafsa until about April - which surprised me since they sent me an email a week ago telling me I needed to submit my FAFSA post haste since the time was fast approaching. Maybe they thought I was applying for spring semester.
Took Brandy out Arching with her longbow, it was a comical experience all round and worthwhile, but I've got to find a closer place for us to shoot at. Puyallup is kind of out of the way. Enoch was miserable the entire time at being in his stroller and not being allowed to wander in the line of fire, and he did his best to make sure everyone else was miserable too.
Brandy got better by the time we wrapped up for the day, she also got a lot of bruising on her left forearm from the string drag. We need to get her some sort of arm guard thingie.
My old best friend from High School Ian McDonald the agnostic lawyer finally emailed me back. I thought he was done with me and due to the influence of Seattle's atmosphere didn't want to talk to his fundamentalist friend Judah anymore, but apparently I was mistaken, he's been in self-imposed exile studying for the Bar for the second time. He suggested we go out for coffee or a run, I suggested we go with the coffee, and he also wanted to have dinner sometime & meet my kids. I was just praying for him a couple days ago for the first time in some months, so I don't think it's coincidence that he contacted me when he did. I'm really looking forward to seeing him again.
After sending out a stock email about my book of poetry I self-published via "Blurb.com" I received two email responses of "Congratulations" which was exremely embarrassing, I think they thought it was actually published by a publishing house of some kind. It made me feel like that time in Jerusalem when a rabbi was being effusively welcoming and friendly to me until he figured out I was not a Jewish youth contemplating making aliah - at which point he shuddered at the thought of having spoken to a goy such as I and sped away.
But another person is paying me to autograph and send a copy to them, to that almost makes up for it.
Donovan invited me to come visit him in Bellingham across the water, so with Brandy's leave I took the ferry there (which was glorious - I got some good reading done between scenery too!) when I arrived I quickly realised that it was a setup. Donovan had invited me there in order to sell me on the idea of becoming part of CC Bellingham and helping with the school of ministry out there and/or pastoring the church up in port Angeles (across from Victoria). I thanked him fo the tour of their gorgeous facilities (a renovated old-school theatre) and for the Teryaki spicy chicken that made me appear to have an emotional breakdown, and told him that I would pray with him and be open to any voice of the Lord moving us in that direction, but let him know that the direction we're currently being moved is the Magnolia district & school @ SPU (Lord willing). He was disappointed, and I was full of Teryaki and good humor. Although seriously, I am open to the possibility - but very much doubt it is the Lord's will for us at this time.
And all of this has become ridiculously long, so I will stop it here.
The pastor's conference in the beginning of Feb was phenomenal. Not only did they have free espresso drinks and gluttony-provoking food catered in-house, the spiritual food and caffeine was fit to match it. We'd gone hoping mainly for some time together away from the kids (I had been disappointed by a "Men's Rally" sort of conference I'd gone to some weeks before and had very low expectations for the teaching portion) but the sessions were very worthwhile. The drive out was beautiful, I had Brandy read me "The Fellowship of the Ring" for as long as she could (which wasn't very long) but that was just about fine because the scenery through the mountains demanded too much attention to listen anyway. I saw Venus about a hundred feet up in the air, it looked like if I'd climbed to the summit of a nearby mountain I could've touched it. We got to stop at a perkins for breakfast with Jeremiah & Nicole (I haven't had a perkins breakfast in forever, and very few things are as fun as road trip caravan breakfast breaks).
When we were actually at the conference we had some good conversing time with pastor (my father in law) Don, Pastor Seth, & Pastor Chik - who screamed and performed his usual theatre at the catering table enough to make four hundred people stop and stare, until it felt like Appleton.
The conference began with communion and a request that we pray for one another concerning whatever was on our hearts, I asked some nearby brethren to pray for me about our future (to go to school or not, to move closer to Seattle or not, to start a bible study or not) and to keep me from pride (concerning the guys in youth group, who seem to consider me some sort of genius) - yes, I know it's lame to even have to fight pride over the compliments of 18 year olds, but everyone has their weakness, and mine (one of them) is being complimented. And that's exactly why I was begging for prayer. One of the guys all but accused me of repressing my wife who he was sure was just waiting for a chance to cut me down to size, he was sure of this because that's what his wife does. At first I bristled a little, but I figured I'd let him assume whatever he wanted to assume so long as he prayed for me, and if there was anything in need of remedying, God would remedy it. So they prayed for me and I prayed for them, after which I told Brandy about the conversation and asked her if she felt oppressed and if there was anything she would like to say to bring me back to the cold reality of my insufficiency as a human being, and she proceeded to tell me how gifted she thinks I am, which I told her didn't help my pride at all, but did make her seem a lot hotter even than usual.
Then the second speaker covered the subject of pride thoroughly enough to disembowel my self-esteem through my tear ducts, which I take to always be an act of God, and the one two later spoke about the future. Then at the lunch session on the second day P. Chik called me aside to exhort me to get to what we came out here for and start a church before I got old and fogeyey. I also took this to be the voice of God.
So Brandy & I have been praying about the where and how. Last week we went on a drive through the Magnolia district as it is close to the university and has no CC's within a fair radius. It was gorgeous. I declared a major today in the admissions dept, and picked up the requirement sheet for the "Classics" major. I also reveived the news from Fin. Aid that they won't really have anything to say to me re: my Fafsa until about April - which surprised me since they sent me an email a week ago telling me I needed to submit my FAFSA post haste since the time was fast approaching. Maybe they thought I was applying for spring semester.
Took Brandy out Arching with her longbow, it was a comical experience all round and worthwhile, but I've got to find a closer place for us to shoot at. Puyallup is kind of out of the way. Enoch was miserable the entire time at being in his stroller and not being allowed to wander in the line of fire, and he did his best to make sure everyone else was miserable too.
Brandy got better by the time we wrapped up for the day, she also got a lot of bruising on her left forearm from the string drag. We need to get her some sort of arm guard thingie.
My old best friend from High School Ian McDonald the agnostic lawyer finally emailed me back. I thought he was done with me and due to the influence of Seattle's atmosphere didn't want to talk to his fundamentalist friend Judah anymore, but apparently I was mistaken, he's been in self-imposed exile studying for the Bar for the second time. He suggested we go out for coffee or a run, I suggested we go with the coffee, and he also wanted to have dinner sometime & meet my kids. I was just praying for him a couple days ago for the first time in some months, so I don't think it's coincidence that he contacted me when he did. I'm really looking forward to seeing him again.
After sending out a stock email about my book of poetry I self-published via "Blurb.com" I received two email responses of "Congratulations" which was exremely embarrassing, I think they thought it was actually published by a publishing house of some kind. It made me feel like that time in Jerusalem when a rabbi was being effusively welcoming and friendly to me until he figured out I was not a Jewish youth contemplating making aliah - at which point he shuddered at the thought of having spoken to a goy such as I and sped away.
But another person is paying me to autograph and send a copy to them, to that almost makes up for it.
Donovan invited me to come visit him in Bellingham across the water, so with Brandy's leave I took the ferry there (which was glorious - I got some good reading done between scenery too!) when I arrived I quickly realised that it was a setup. Donovan had invited me there in order to sell me on the idea of becoming part of CC Bellingham and helping with the school of ministry out there and/or pastoring the church up in port Angeles (across from Victoria). I thanked him fo the tour of their gorgeous facilities (a renovated old-school theatre) and for the Teryaki spicy chicken that made me appear to have an emotional breakdown, and told him that I would pray with him and be open to any voice of the Lord moving us in that direction, but let him know that the direction we're currently being moved is the Magnolia district & school @ SPU (Lord willing). He was disappointed, and I was full of Teryaki and good humor. Although seriously, I am open to the possibility - but very much doubt it is the Lord's will for us at this time.
And all of this has become ridiculously long, so I will stop it here.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thanks to Mel for putting me in the same sentence as Shakespeare.
I just ordered a copy of "Lord of the Rings" in a single volume. This is an exciting moment for me because when I first was truly regenerated I threw away all my LOTR stuff along with all my other fantasy literature. I had done that at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, my guess looking back was because it was such an escape for me it had turned into something of a "Slight healing" of the wounds of sin. The wholesale immersion of myself into fantasy dulled the pain and emptiness caused by my Disconnect with Jesus Christ. But now, some eight or so years later, my conscience is free once again and I want to give the Lord of the Rings another read through as a New Man.
I got some martial arts target mitts off ebay with the intent of exercising Brandy & I's (and maybe Josiah's) punching muscles. We've had them for about two weeks now and it's been a blast. Brandy's punches are getting harder every couple of days and I've been pleasantly surprised that she enjoys it. I also got her a longbow for christmas, and I'm looking forward to taking her out to the range to shoot.
More outrageous articles in the school newspaper, I think I'll probably write a response to one of them, but part of me feels like it would be doing nothing but exercising my futility muscles. Still, like William Wallace's father said in Braveheart: "I didn't say we had to beat them, we just have to fight them" - We shall see.
Youth group... The situation is still interesting. I have taught twice, and have led a couple small group "discussions" at least that's what they're supposed to be but the first one ended up being a group chat time becuase none of the kids were taking it seriously and because that's what they've always done before. I gave them a "why are you even here" speech and the next time everything went great, we kept on topic and prayed together meaningfully at the close, I even remember all of their names. A few of the older kids complain to me that their relationship with God is stagnant and they're frustrated with the youth group the way it's being run and the shallowness of the teaching and want me to start a study group outside of church that would be voluntary. I would really like that in one way, but I don't think they're being entirely fair to the current youth pastor and I wouldn't want it to be detrimental to what's already going on there. I'll have to talk to the Pastor and the Youth pastor and see what they think.
Speaking of pastors and youth pastors, the Pastor wants to meet for breakfast with me again. We went out to breakfast once before, a kind of "getting to know you" sort of thing once I expressed interest in the youth ministry, I don't know why he's asked to get together with me this time. It was a Wednesday night when he first mentioned it to me, he came in after youth group and said that he wanted to get together with me and talk, but he'd just been sued and his wife's mother had a stroke in service the week prior and had since died, and as he was telling all this to me I noticed that he had some kind of red inflammation like poison oak or something all over his face. I found out the suing is a ridiculous frivolous lawsuit against him and three other homeowners by a plumbing contractor who just finished suing a nearby county -apparently this is how this guy makes his living when he's not plumbing. But seriously, after hearing the pastor's story and thinking about the events in the lives of the pastors I've known for the past two years, it's enough to make me scared at the thought of becoming a pastor-it seems like being selected to storm Omaha beach on D-Day. Still...
Working with a new guy at SPU security, he's Irish (kind of) son of travelling missionary parents and a reader of sorts, so we have lots of interesting discussions. We talked about the history of the IRA, the popularity of Coldplay amongst the "cool" christian culture, and everything in between.
Applying for school here at SPU, hoping to get a degree in Classics. Just ordered transcripts to be sent to the admissions department from my former colleges, and now I'm just waiting for the Academic and Personal recommendations forms to be returned, then I'll be in. This is fixin' to be one busy year. We're going to move closer (as always, Lord willing) to the School in June when our lease is up, I'll be going to school, still don't know if we'll end up going to Calvary Seattle there or trying to keep coming here-(I can't see commuting back here from there though)
We're going to the NW Calvary Sr. Pastor's conference. Brandy already booked the rooms, she is as ever the superninja of the practical and administrative. Not only did she find the most economical hotels in the area, she booked rooms there for Don Rypstra and Chik as well as one for us. Nate and Marielle (Brandy's brother and sister-i-l) are in my good books forever for agreeing to sit on our babies while we go out to Spokane for the conference. It will be glorious being alone with Brandy, without children, by ourselves, together, for more than five minutes, without the constant threat of the little people getting out of bed to come and announce that they have to go to the bathroom or are sick or scared of gollum. As I said, Glorious.
Although Brandy wants another. I like the ones we have, the way I see it, three's good enough for God (think Trinity), so it's good enough for me. But the biological clock ticks fiercely, and I have promised to comply on conditions known only to her and I.
But I still think three is the # of completion. (Or is it perfection? Still, either way.)
I also bought Brandy a pair of hotboots. A sound investment.
Reading through Ezekiel. If anyone knows the meaning of Ezekiel 20:25&6 feel free to share, I've got some ideas, but initially it's very confusticating. The rest of Ezekiel is great as always, but I have found it necessary to balance it out by reading the gospel of John as well.
Just finished today listening to Christianaudio's free book of the month, "Abandoned to God" - the life of Oswald Chambers, by David McCasland I believe, narrated by Simon Vance (who's voice I appreciate) very edifying, too much to write, but I suggest you download it for free @ Christianaudio.com and listen through it. What a life in Christ. I pray that I live that way. I bought the complete OC works now and am reading through "Biblical Psychology" when I can. But I'll have to wait til my weekend (Monday) to really dig into it.
Peace to all of you in our Lord Jesus!
'cause that's all for now.
I just ordered a copy of "Lord of the Rings" in a single volume. This is an exciting moment for me because when I first was truly regenerated I threw away all my LOTR stuff along with all my other fantasy literature. I had done that at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, my guess looking back was because it was such an escape for me it had turned into something of a "Slight healing" of the wounds of sin. The wholesale immersion of myself into fantasy dulled the pain and emptiness caused by my Disconnect with Jesus Christ. But now, some eight or so years later, my conscience is free once again and I want to give the Lord of the Rings another read through as a New Man.
I got some martial arts target mitts off ebay with the intent of exercising Brandy & I's (and maybe Josiah's) punching muscles. We've had them for about two weeks now and it's been a blast. Brandy's punches are getting harder every couple of days and I've been pleasantly surprised that she enjoys it. I also got her a longbow for christmas, and I'm looking forward to taking her out to the range to shoot.
More outrageous articles in the school newspaper, I think I'll probably write a response to one of them, but part of me feels like it would be doing nothing but exercising my futility muscles. Still, like William Wallace's father said in Braveheart: "I didn't say we had to beat them, we just have to fight them" - We shall see.
Youth group... The situation is still interesting. I have taught twice, and have led a couple small group "discussions" at least that's what they're supposed to be but the first one ended up being a group chat time becuase none of the kids were taking it seriously and because that's what they've always done before. I gave them a "why are you even here" speech and the next time everything went great, we kept on topic and prayed together meaningfully at the close, I even remember all of their names. A few of the older kids complain to me that their relationship with God is stagnant and they're frustrated with the youth group the way it's being run and the shallowness of the teaching and want me to start a study group outside of church that would be voluntary. I would really like that in one way, but I don't think they're being entirely fair to the current youth pastor and I wouldn't want it to be detrimental to what's already going on there. I'll have to talk to the Pastor and the Youth pastor and see what they think.
Speaking of pastors and youth pastors, the Pastor wants to meet for breakfast with me again. We went out to breakfast once before, a kind of "getting to know you" sort of thing once I expressed interest in the youth ministry, I don't know why he's asked to get together with me this time. It was a Wednesday night when he first mentioned it to me, he came in after youth group and said that he wanted to get together with me and talk, but he'd just been sued and his wife's mother had a stroke in service the week prior and had since died, and as he was telling all this to me I noticed that he had some kind of red inflammation like poison oak or something all over his face. I found out the suing is a ridiculous frivolous lawsuit against him and three other homeowners by a plumbing contractor who just finished suing a nearby county -apparently this is how this guy makes his living when he's not plumbing. But seriously, after hearing the pastor's story and thinking about the events in the lives of the pastors I've known for the past two years, it's enough to make me scared at the thought of becoming a pastor-it seems like being selected to storm Omaha beach on D-Day. Still...
Working with a new guy at SPU security, he's Irish (kind of) son of travelling missionary parents and a reader of sorts, so we have lots of interesting discussions. We talked about the history of the IRA, the popularity of Coldplay amongst the "cool" christian culture, and everything in between.
Applying for school here at SPU, hoping to get a degree in Classics. Just ordered transcripts to be sent to the admissions department from my former colleges, and now I'm just waiting for the Academic and Personal recommendations forms to be returned, then I'll be in. This is fixin' to be one busy year. We're going to move closer (as always, Lord willing) to the School in June when our lease is up, I'll be going to school, still don't know if we'll end up going to Calvary Seattle there or trying to keep coming here-(I can't see commuting back here from there though)
We're going to the NW Calvary Sr. Pastor's conference. Brandy already booked the rooms, she is as ever the superninja of the practical and administrative. Not only did she find the most economical hotels in the area, she booked rooms there for Don Rypstra and Chik as well as one for us. Nate and Marielle (Brandy's brother and sister-i-l) are in my good books forever for agreeing to sit on our babies while we go out to Spokane for the conference. It will be glorious being alone with Brandy, without children, by ourselves, together, for more than five minutes, without the constant threat of the little people getting out of bed to come and announce that they have to go to the bathroom or are sick or scared of gollum. As I said, Glorious.
Although Brandy wants another. I like the ones we have, the way I see it, three's good enough for God (think Trinity), so it's good enough for me. But the biological clock ticks fiercely, and I have promised to comply on conditions known only to her and I.
But I still think three is the # of completion. (Or is it perfection? Still, either way.)
I also bought Brandy a pair of hotboots. A sound investment.
Reading through Ezekiel. If anyone knows the meaning of Ezekiel 20:25&6 feel free to share, I've got some ideas, but initially it's very confusticating. The rest of Ezekiel is great as always, but I have found it necessary to balance it out by reading the gospel of John as well.
Just finished today listening to Christianaudio's free book of the month, "Abandoned to God" - the life of Oswald Chambers, by David McCasland I believe, narrated by Simon Vance (who's voice I appreciate) very edifying, too much to write, but I suggest you download it for free @ Christianaudio.com and listen through it. What a life in Christ. I pray that I live that way. I bought the complete OC works now and am reading through "Biblical Psychology" when I can. But I'll have to wait til my weekend (Monday) to really dig into it.
Peace to all of you in our Lord Jesus!
'cause that's all for now.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Recency
It's snowing here in Washington. As I left for work the flakes had started coming down. The kids caught a glimpse of the shallow white ground cover as I was headed out the door and yelled "It's Christmas!!!, can we open our presents?!?" I told them their education had been neglected and that it wasn't christmas every time it snowed, and Brandy explained that Josiah had asked before "when is christmas?" and she had told him that it was christmas when it snowed, as she hadn't expected to see snow anytime soon. So I smilingly told her she's been miseducating our children and we laughed about it as she had the kids come look out the door at the snow falling as I headed for the car.
We'd watched the first half of "Amelie" before I left, as that was all I had time for. It's very funny so far, and like all french films I've seen it's also very existential.
The definition of existentialism (according to that wonderful cauldron of common knowledge which is wikipedia) is "the belief that philosophical thinking begins with the human subject – not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual. In existentialism, the individual's starting point is characterized by what has been called "the existential attitude," or a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world."
At first I would think that existentialism would be totally Christian thinking, but it's really not. There's a huge existential element in christianity, on the personal level: we're addressed by God and Jesus as feeling, acting humans, and God Himself seems to be the same. Overall something very hard to put in a graph or a diagram. But at the same time we're given a stability that pure existentialists don't have, since we have things that never change (The promises of God), and we know some basic answers for basic questions like "Who am I, where did I come from, where am I going" but between all that there's still a huge realm of unknowns that to us seem absurd/meaningless except in the light that they're part of the divine plan somehow.
Speaking of absurdity, I've been feeling somewhat out of touch with reality lately. I think in part because I'm working nights, and haven't gotten out of the house in fully conscious mode in a while. Also I think it's the isolation; as I have no believing friends (the kind of friends I can hang out with I mean, I acquaintances galore, but I miss having friends, and I miss my friends back in MN.) - Except, of course, Brandy, who I am grateful for, but without babysitters our times together have been between the hours of 10pm-3am, not the best time for hanging out. Lord willing we've got some potential babysitters lined up for the near future (some girls from church). Then again, all my ethereal-ness could just be brain chemistry gone awry, in which case this too shall pass soon enough.
Meeting w/ a faculty member from SPU Monday morning, he read my letters to the editor and has a group of people he meets with who want to change the course of SPU in a somewhat more scriptural direction. I pray that goes well, and I pray it's not political.
My role in youth group is interesting... I haven't seen or talked to any of the guys for about three weeks for more than a few seconds, because Sun. grp has been cancelled for the past three weeks (well, one of the weeks there was a guest speaker) and with my kids running underfoot it's impossible to have any real conversation after service. We end up going to the church coffeeshop and sitting down to watch them for half an hour or so til we go home. So my plan of getting to know the guys @ Youth Group has thus far flopped.
On the upside I'm going to be off work for over a week during Christmas Break, that's going to be very nice. We're planning on going down to Centralia to visit w/ the relatives down there. We'll also most likely go up to Nate and Marielle's at some point then too.
Read "The Spiritual Brain"-a book on non-materialistic view of the brain/mind connection which confirmed my earlier theories, but it was written by a neurosurgeon of the Teilhard De Chardin variety. (kinda cosmically new agey). Also read "Napoleon of Notting Hill", which although it has its moments isn't as good as the other Chesterton I've read. Finished Isaiah and am on Jeremiah 11, listened to "Hood" by Stephen Lawhead and am now listening to CH Spurgeon's autobiography on MP3. And reading through A.E. Wilder-Smith's Autobiography as well. Plus, if anyone feels like passing it along to Paul back in St. Cloud, the puritan devotional he gave me had been a constant encouragement.
Well, I think that's it for now.
It's snowing here in Washington. As I left for work the flakes had started coming down. The kids caught a glimpse of the shallow white ground cover as I was headed out the door and yelled "It's Christmas!!!, can we open our presents?!?" I told them their education had been neglected and that it wasn't christmas every time it snowed, and Brandy explained that Josiah had asked before "when is christmas?" and she had told him that it was christmas when it snowed, as she hadn't expected to see snow anytime soon. So I smilingly told her she's been miseducating our children and we laughed about it as she had the kids come look out the door at the snow falling as I headed for the car.
We'd watched the first half of "Amelie" before I left, as that was all I had time for. It's very funny so far, and like all french films I've seen it's also very existential.
The definition of existentialism (according to that wonderful cauldron of common knowledge which is wikipedia) is "the belief that philosophical thinking begins with the human subject – not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual. In existentialism, the individual's starting point is characterized by what has been called "the existential attitude," or a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world."
At first I would think that existentialism would be totally Christian thinking, but it's really not. There's a huge existential element in christianity, on the personal level: we're addressed by God and Jesus as feeling, acting humans, and God Himself seems to be the same. Overall something very hard to put in a graph or a diagram. But at the same time we're given a stability that pure existentialists don't have, since we have things that never change (The promises of God), and we know some basic answers for basic questions like "Who am I, where did I come from, where am I going" but between all that there's still a huge realm of unknowns that to us seem absurd/meaningless except in the light that they're part of the divine plan somehow.
Speaking of absurdity, I've been feeling somewhat out of touch with reality lately. I think in part because I'm working nights, and haven't gotten out of the house in fully conscious mode in a while. Also I think it's the isolation; as I have no believing friends (the kind of friends I can hang out with I mean, I acquaintances galore, but I miss having friends, and I miss my friends back in MN.) - Except, of course, Brandy, who I am grateful for, but without babysitters our times together have been between the hours of 10pm-3am, not the best time for hanging out. Lord willing we've got some potential babysitters lined up for the near future (some girls from church). Then again, all my ethereal-ness could just be brain chemistry gone awry, in which case this too shall pass soon enough.
Meeting w/ a faculty member from SPU Monday morning, he read my letters to the editor and has a group of people he meets with who want to change the course of SPU in a somewhat more scriptural direction. I pray that goes well, and I pray it's not political.
My role in youth group is interesting... I haven't seen or talked to any of the guys for about three weeks for more than a few seconds, because Sun. grp has been cancelled for the past three weeks (well, one of the weeks there was a guest speaker) and with my kids running underfoot it's impossible to have any real conversation after service. We end up going to the church coffeeshop and sitting down to watch them for half an hour or so til we go home. So my plan of getting to know the guys @ Youth Group has thus far flopped.
On the upside I'm going to be off work for over a week during Christmas Break, that's going to be very nice. We're planning on going down to Centralia to visit w/ the relatives down there. We'll also most likely go up to Nate and Marielle's at some point then too.
Read "The Spiritual Brain"-a book on non-materialistic view of the brain/mind connection which confirmed my earlier theories, but it was written by a neurosurgeon of the Teilhard De Chardin variety. (kinda cosmically new agey). Also read "Napoleon of Notting Hill", which although it has its moments isn't as good as the other Chesterton I've read. Finished Isaiah and am on Jeremiah 11, listened to "Hood" by Stephen Lawhead and am now listening to CH Spurgeon's autobiography on MP3. And reading through A.E. Wilder-Smith's Autobiography as well. Plus, if anyone feels like passing it along to Paul back in St. Cloud, the puritan devotional he gave me had been a constant encouragement.
Well, I think that's it for now.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
To make an edifice alive
I feel like I should say something to you about the things you should believe
but my words would all be floating bricks with nothing underneath
always falling down in piles and I cannot build you up
left with a heap of lettered blocks that say all I've not been living
and I know I know deep down I don't have what I'd be giving
I've would be writing verbal checks with the debts up to my neck
He would be formed, revealed in me
but we're industrial now, and birth's slow going
would I chop up a tree that's growing
and call the branches fruit?
then why would I preach all the things I've never been
and why would I hold to your eyes all the things I've never seen?
I need the fountain found again
that pours foundations made of life
let him be all he is in me
and let him cut me like a knife
remove the things that shouldn't be
and cause the good to grow
til I'm again a living tree
who lives the good he knows
I feel like I should say something to you about the things you should believe
but my words would all be floating bricks with nothing underneath
always falling down in piles and I cannot build you up
left with a heap of lettered blocks that say all I've not been living
and I know I know deep down I don't have what I'd be giving
I've would be writing verbal checks with the debts up to my neck
He would be formed, revealed in me
but we're industrial now, and birth's slow going
would I chop up a tree that's growing
and call the branches fruit?
then why would I preach all the things I've never been
and why would I hold to your eyes all the things I've never seen?
I need the fountain found again
that pours foundations made of life
let him be all he is in me
and let him cut me like a knife
remove the things that shouldn't be
and cause the good to grow
til I'm again a living tree
who lives the good he knows
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I watched "Expelled" some time last week by myself at the School, and then ordered it on Netflix so that Brandy & I could watch it together. When it arrived, I remembered that for the past two or three weeks, our computer hasn't been reading DVDs. But in the spirit of persistance I put it in anyway, and the laptop spit it out, and I put it in again, and again it was regurgitated, and another ten or more times, then I went into the bedroom to the other computer and tried it in that one, and to my surprise that one wouldn't take it either! SO I washed it off and cleaned it, and tried a handful of other times, then handed it off to Brandy and left the room to let off some steam. I asked God what was up with this-especially as it's something I figured he'd approve of us watching, and then he birthed the realisation in me that I hadn't really consulted him at all so far-I'd been trusting in the law of averages. So I went outside where Brandy had put it in the laptop for the fifth time or so since I'd left, and grabbed her hand and said we should pray. So I prayed and asked God to make it work, seeing as this is probably the first really edifying thing we've watched in a while, and asked him to make sure it was an edifying watch. As we said our "Amen", the DVD 'took' and the menu screen came up. After a short and heartfelt prayer of thanks, we watched the movie (which, by the way, was excellent). Then we had a good long conversation springboarded off of the topics touched on in "Expelled", and I decided that this was the first time in a while I'd prayed for something supernatural with the expectation that it would happen. Brandy objected that she does and has fairly recently prayed in such a way, and I said that I do too, if it counts prayers for the universe to be rearranged to avoid inconveniencing us (for our car to run, for us to get more money, for our health to be good) But when was the last time we'd prayed for God to work a miracle that would be to His Glory for the purposes of His will being obeyed and accomplished?
As a result of that conversation I've realised that prayers for cars to start and money to appear can be pure superstition, on the level with rubbing a lucky rabbit's foot, as opposed to prayers which seek the will of God to be supernaturally worked out with our cooperation. One starts from the nature of Christ - For God's will and Glory, and the other starts from our desire to be comfortable - loving our life here in the world. I definitely think that God's will and glory can result in our comfort, but I don't think that the comfort should come first, and I think I've been relegating the power of God to disaster relief lately.
As a result of that conversation I've realised that prayers for cars to start and money to appear can be pure superstition, on the level with rubbing a lucky rabbit's foot, as opposed to prayers which seek the will of God to be supernaturally worked out with our cooperation. One starts from the nature of Christ - For God's will and Glory, and the other starts from our desire to be comfortable - loving our life here in the world. I definitely think that God's will and glory can result in our comfort, but I don't think that the comfort should come first, and I think I've been relegating the power of God to disaster relief lately.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
This is upside-down, you'll have to read it last message first for it to make any sense, but It's a conversation I had with an intelligent guy in the Youth grp. @ church.
T.,
No, I don't think anyone is completely un-biased, not even us; but I think it's possible for someone to be biased towards the Truth (but the problem is, a man would have to either discover the truth first in order to be biased towards it-an impossibility-or, if Truth happened to be a Person, then Truth would have to reveal it/Himself to that man...Sound familiar?) An easier way to talk about it would be to say that it's impossible as a human to be completely objective. We're all subjective because we've all got a point of view, we're each limited to OUR five senses, OUR reasoning. In order to have full objective knowledge of ANYTHING, you'd have to have full objective knowledge of EVERYTHING (since everything is interrelated) i.e., Omniscience. And no one has any hope of that kind of knowledge unless they happened to be an infinite, eternal, transcendent Being (again, does that sound familiar?)As Madeleine L'Engle said: "you have a point of view, I have a point of view, but God has VIEW"I do believe that the scientific method (hypothesis, repeated empirical testing, observation, theory) is a pretty reliable method for discovering things about the observable universe - but a lot of things called science aren't strictly "science", they're heavy on storytelling and light on scientific method (disciplines like evolution, psychology, sociology, history etc...). As long as we consciously discern the difference between what has really been observed and what is story-being-sold-as-truth we're pretty safe, but even then it's still not an infallible method because it relies on fallible subjective human observation.As to the reason WHY it's generally reliable? Materialists don't have an answer, all they can do is point to technology or chemistry (the "hard" sciences) as their poster children and say, "see? it works!" But WHY it works, how the scientist knows that he knows what he knows? - they don't have an answer. But as a Christian I do. A reasonable God created a reasonable universe that operates on reasonable principles, and he created us in his image with the faculties of reason and perception (not total, but sufficient and real) so that we can really discover things about the creation we're a part of. Which is why it's widely recognized that the Christian philosophical position was historically a midwife of sorts to science, because the original scientists all believed that they lived in a real, reasonable universe created by a reasonable God and could therefore be tested and observed.
Materialistic "Science" lacks humility (humility=choosing to "know thyself") and so it falls. Of course, We as Christians can get ugly and ridiculous too if we aren't scripturally humble, if we don't recognize our ignorance and limitations and give our answers with the "Gentleness and respect" we're commanded to.It's been really enjoyable to have the chance to talk with you about these questions, I'm just glad that someone else is asking them! These are important questions for me too and I've spent a lot of time thinking praying and reading about these things - I appreciate that you're taking the time to talk/type with me too.
Peace in Jesus,
Judah.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: T.Date: Nov 6, 2008 5:47 PMAlright, so what i am getting out of this, is what i have been thinking about over the past couple of days. Bais is all over the place. When they (evolutionist) find evidence or do experiments, they already really know what they are looking for, so they just make it fit. just like you said, they ask, "how it fits in the tree" not, "is there even a tree" (evolutionary tree). So my big question is, is science even creditable as it is, because everyone has a bias toward something. For example, if me and you were to conduct the same experiments or find the same things that the evolutionist do, then we would come to two completely diffrent conclusions. Is it possible to not be bias? Thanks for talking this out with me. It has really made me think. Also, you have given me the most logically answer i have heard. I appreciate you talking to me.
peace
t.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: JudahDate: Nov 6, 2008 1:33 AM
Hmmm, lets try this again, except it'll only be about half as long 'cause I'm annoyed that Myspace erased the 1st draft.But basically, yes, I think that the story of evolution doesn't account for what we, as human beings, have experienced about ourselves for all of recorded history-or what we experience about ourselves in the present as individuals.The word "worldview" is getting thrown around a lot lately, some people call it "metanarrative", "grand narrative", or "controlling story" - but that's really what it all comes down to when we talk about interpreting evidence. The dominant grand narrative of our day (at least in academic circles) is reductionist materialistic Darwinism. So whenever some paleontologist digs up an australopithecine skull, the first question he asks is "where does this fit in the evolutionary tree?" He never stops to question the existence of the tree in the first place because it's the establishment story. Same with any discovery of a biological function, their first question is "how does this fit into the evolutionary process?" - Either way they by reflex are finding something that exists (a skull, a genetic mutation,) and presuming that it must fit somewhere within the story, it's just a matter of where (ever heard of "the scientific community"? it really is a community). But none of them seem to be able to live consistently with their presuppositions (the things they take to be basic facts-that they are fundamentally meat machines, complex accretions of chemicals and chemical reactions) What they spend their lives researching they deny every day- when they choose and ponder, feel the pangs of conscience or love.
Our story (the Scriptures) I believe is much more comprehensive, and accounts for the observed facts a lot better than materialistic neodarwinism. All that being said, I don't think evolutionists are stupid, and I don't think the story of evolution is entirely unconvincing - but taken to it's logical conclusions it's insufficient.
Microevolution... I guess it depends on what you mean by "evolution", and "species". It's undeniable that the mechanisms claimed as "mechanisms of evolution" exist -mutation and natural selection happen, there's gene flow and genetic drift; but I just don't see them doing what Neodarwinism says they've done. I'll take the example of microevolution that's given in the textbook I'm reading: Sickle cell anemia. Yeah, sure, there's mutation taking place, and natural selection, but that, like all the other examples of "microevolution" I've read about is a corruption or loss of information that's already present and selection for or against that-no new information being created. They don't seem to have any convincing examples of the kind of evolution it would take to account for the degree of change they're trying to account for (the biological diversity we see today). So you have guys like Stephen Jay Gould talking about punctuated equilibrium to try and explain how it could happen, rapid evolution in isolated populations (something no one has, of course, observed) to try and tweak the story to fit the facts. But it just doesn't seem to fit.
There ARE things that don't seem to fit in either story though, like how we haven't yet found human remains in the lower strata (I'd like to know why). I think that we (as christians) could do a lot better at fitting observed facts into our story if we had anything near the funding or governmental support or academic community that the establishment does...but we don't. Ultimately though, if we've determined our story fits the facts, then that means there really IS a God who is there, in your room and mine, and we can know Him here and now through Jesus. That's really the final test of its reality.
Peace in Jesus,
Judah.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: T.
Date: Nov 4, 2008 1:51 PM
i can see exactly where your coming from. so in the big picture, they are trying to reduce us into something that we can't be, if we just look at the physical aspects then maybe, but if we borden our view and see that we are smart and have a spirt, mind and can think of our selves in the third person, evolution is impossible? so wait... do you think evolution is true in micro, like just in a speices?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: JudahDate: Nov 3, 2008 4:57 AM
I agree with your main point. That's one of the reasons I've been buying and reading college textbooks lately, I want to know firsthand what the professors of Anthropology/Biology (who hold to neodarwinism) have to say about their position. I think the difference between your analogy and the C/E issue doesn't touch one important point: in your story the doctor's diagnosis would be testable in the present, (it's not an attempt to say how things got the way they are today, like evolutionary theory) so it's something everyone would be able to observe for themselves in the present. If in the present I DID see natural selection and mutation (both of which ARE testable in the present, and which I believe take place) acting the way that most evolutionary theorists say they did, I would have a lot harder of a time hanging on to the biblical account of things. But to be honest I don't see that happening.
On the chimp note: DNA codes for physical characteristics. It makes sense that if two organisms are physically similar, they'll be genetically similar. Physically, It's pretty plain that we do have a lot of similarities with the great apes-but I don't think that our physical bodies are all that we are, do you? Even in the genesis account it seems to say that we're physically made out of the same stuff, "out of the ground" - physically we're on the same playing field as the animals (you might want to check out Ecclesiastes 3:18-21 on that too). That is why I think modern anthropologists have such a hard time trying to figure out what-if anything-fundamentally separates humans from animals, because they reduce life to its physical component and think that that's all we really are. But I believe from scripture and experience that we have a non-physical component too, a spirit, which is made to commune with God on a higher level than the animals.Okay, this is a lot longer that I'd meant it to be. I'll stop here.
Peace,
Judah.
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: T.Date: Oct 29, 2008 9:36 PM
This is one of my blogs.... please read it:Okay, so i was thinking, what if we had all the doctors in the world come together, very well educated (they are doc's after all), and they came up with something called "cancer" and said it would kill you over a short period of time, really just eating you from the inside out and it wasn't really treatable. But there was a group of religious people that said, "no, there is no way that God would do this to us, we are way to important to him", even though all these well educated doctors said it was true, well on the other hand, these people were not.
If you as a person with common sense, looked at this situation wouldn't you go along with the doctors?This same principle applies to modern day evolution vs. creationism, and this is why people tend to think evolution is more believable, because all the experts in that field say it is, but all the church people go in and say, "nope isn't true" without having any education in the matter.Tell me. Am i totally off base? comment my page.
T.,
No, I don't think anyone is completely un-biased, not even us; but I think it's possible for someone to be biased towards the Truth (but the problem is, a man would have to either discover the truth first in order to be biased towards it-an impossibility-or, if Truth happened to be a Person, then Truth would have to reveal it/Himself to that man...Sound familiar?) An easier way to talk about it would be to say that it's impossible as a human to be completely objective. We're all subjective because we've all got a point of view, we're each limited to OUR five senses, OUR reasoning. In order to have full objective knowledge of ANYTHING, you'd have to have full objective knowledge of EVERYTHING (since everything is interrelated) i.e., Omniscience. And no one has any hope of that kind of knowledge unless they happened to be an infinite, eternal, transcendent Being (again, does that sound familiar?)As Madeleine L'Engle said: "you have a point of view, I have a point of view, but God has VIEW"I do believe that the scientific method (hypothesis, repeated empirical testing, observation, theory) is a pretty reliable method for discovering things about the observable universe - but a lot of things called science aren't strictly "science", they're heavy on storytelling and light on scientific method (disciplines like evolution, psychology, sociology, history etc...). As long as we consciously discern the difference between what has really been observed and what is story-being-sold-as-truth we're pretty safe, but even then it's still not an infallible method because it relies on fallible subjective human observation.As to the reason WHY it's generally reliable? Materialists don't have an answer, all they can do is point to technology or chemistry (the "hard" sciences) as their poster children and say, "see? it works!" But WHY it works, how the scientist knows that he knows what he knows? - they don't have an answer. But as a Christian I do. A reasonable God created a reasonable universe that operates on reasonable principles, and he created us in his image with the faculties of reason and perception (not total, but sufficient and real) so that we can really discover things about the creation we're a part of. Which is why it's widely recognized that the Christian philosophical position was historically a midwife of sorts to science, because the original scientists all believed that they lived in a real, reasonable universe created by a reasonable God and could therefore be tested and observed.
Materialistic "Science" lacks humility (humility=choosing to "know thyself") and so it falls. Of course, We as Christians can get ugly and ridiculous too if we aren't scripturally humble, if we don't recognize our ignorance and limitations and give our answers with the "Gentleness and respect" we're commanded to.It's been really enjoyable to have the chance to talk with you about these questions, I'm just glad that someone else is asking them! These are important questions for me too and I've spent a lot of time thinking praying and reading about these things - I appreciate that you're taking the time to talk/type with me too.
Peace in Jesus,
Judah.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: T.Date: Nov 6, 2008 5:47 PMAlright, so what i am getting out of this, is what i have been thinking about over the past couple of days. Bais is all over the place. When they (evolutionist) find evidence or do experiments, they already really know what they are looking for, so they just make it fit. just like you said, they ask, "how it fits in the tree" not, "is there even a tree" (evolutionary tree). So my big question is, is science even creditable as it is, because everyone has a bias toward something. For example, if me and you were to conduct the same experiments or find the same things that the evolutionist do, then we would come to two completely diffrent conclusions. Is it possible to not be bias? Thanks for talking this out with me. It has really made me think. Also, you have given me the most logically answer i have heard. I appreciate you talking to me.
peace
t.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: JudahDate: Nov 6, 2008 1:33 AM
Hmmm, lets try this again, except it'll only be about half as long 'cause I'm annoyed that Myspace erased the 1st draft.But basically, yes, I think that the story of evolution doesn't account for what we, as human beings, have experienced about ourselves for all of recorded history-or what we experience about ourselves in the present as individuals.The word "worldview" is getting thrown around a lot lately, some people call it "metanarrative", "grand narrative", or "controlling story" - but that's really what it all comes down to when we talk about interpreting evidence. The dominant grand narrative of our day (at least in academic circles) is reductionist materialistic Darwinism. So whenever some paleontologist digs up an australopithecine skull, the first question he asks is "where does this fit in the evolutionary tree?" He never stops to question the existence of the tree in the first place because it's the establishment story. Same with any discovery of a biological function, their first question is "how does this fit into the evolutionary process?" - Either way they by reflex are finding something that exists (a skull, a genetic mutation,) and presuming that it must fit somewhere within the story, it's just a matter of where (ever heard of "the scientific community"? it really is a community). But none of them seem to be able to live consistently with their presuppositions (the things they take to be basic facts-that they are fundamentally meat machines, complex accretions of chemicals and chemical reactions) What they spend their lives researching they deny every day- when they choose and ponder, feel the pangs of conscience or love.
Our story (the Scriptures) I believe is much more comprehensive, and accounts for the observed facts a lot better than materialistic neodarwinism. All that being said, I don't think evolutionists are stupid, and I don't think the story of evolution is entirely unconvincing - but taken to it's logical conclusions it's insufficient.
Microevolution... I guess it depends on what you mean by "evolution", and "species". It's undeniable that the mechanisms claimed as "mechanisms of evolution" exist -mutation and natural selection happen, there's gene flow and genetic drift; but I just don't see them doing what Neodarwinism says they've done. I'll take the example of microevolution that's given in the textbook I'm reading: Sickle cell anemia. Yeah, sure, there's mutation taking place, and natural selection, but that, like all the other examples of "microevolution" I've read about is a corruption or loss of information that's already present and selection for or against that-no new information being created. They don't seem to have any convincing examples of the kind of evolution it would take to account for the degree of change they're trying to account for (the biological diversity we see today). So you have guys like Stephen Jay Gould talking about punctuated equilibrium to try and explain how it could happen, rapid evolution in isolated populations (something no one has, of course, observed) to try and tweak the story to fit the facts. But it just doesn't seem to fit.
There ARE things that don't seem to fit in either story though, like how we haven't yet found human remains in the lower strata (I'd like to know why). I think that we (as christians) could do a lot better at fitting observed facts into our story if we had anything near the funding or governmental support or academic community that the establishment does...but we don't. Ultimately though, if we've determined our story fits the facts, then that means there really IS a God who is there, in your room and mine, and we can know Him here and now through Jesus. That's really the final test of its reality.
Peace in Jesus,
Judah.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: T.
Date: Nov 4, 2008 1:51 PM
i can see exactly where your coming from. so in the big picture, they are trying to reduce us into something that we can't be, if we just look at the physical aspects then maybe, but if we borden our view and see that we are smart and have a spirt, mind and can think of our selves in the third person, evolution is impossible? so wait... do you think evolution is true in micro, like just in a speices?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: JudahDate: Nov 3, 2008 4:57 AM
I agree with your main point. That's one of the reasons I've been buying and reading college textbooks lately, I want to know firsthand what the professors of Anthropology/Biology (who hold to neodarwinism) have to say about their position. I think the difference between your analogy and the C/E issue doesn't touch one important point: in your story the doctor's diagnosis would be testable in the present, (it's not an attempt to say how things got the way they are today, like evolutionary theory) so it's something everyone would be able to observe for themselves in the present. If in the present I DID see natural selection and mutation (both of which ARE testable in the present, and which I believe take place) acting the way that most evolutionary theorists say they did, I would have a lot harder of a time hanging on to the biblical account of things. But to be honest I don't see that happening.
On the chimp note: DNA codes for physical characteristics. It makes sense that if two organisms are physically similar, they'll be genetically similar. Physically, It's pretty plain that we do have a lot of similarities with the great apes-but I don't think that our physical bodies are all that we are, do you? Even in the genesis account it seems to say that we're physically made out of the same stuff, "out of the ground" - physically we're on the same playing field as the animals (you might want to check out Ecclesiastes 3:18-21 on that too). That is why I think modern anthropologists have such a hard time trying to figure out what-if anything-fundamentally separates humans from animals, because they reduce life to its physical component and think that that's all we really are. But I believe from scripture and experience that we have a non-physical component too, a spirit, which is made to commune with God on a higher level than the animals.Okay, this is a lot longer that I'd meant it to be. I'll stop here.
Peace,
Judah.
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: T.Date: Oct 29, 2008 9:36 PM
This is one of my blogs.... please read it:Okay, so i was thinking, what if we had all the doctors in the world come together, very well educated (they are doc's after all), and they came up with something called "cancer" and said it would kill you over a short period of time, really just eating you from the inside out and it wasn't really treatable. But there was a group of religious people that said, "no, there is no way that God would do this to us, we are way to important to him", even though all these well educated doctors said it was true, well on the other hand, these people were not.
If you as a person with common sense, looked at this situation wouldn't you go along with the doctors?This same principle applies to modern day evolution vs. creationism, and this is why people tend to think evolution is more believable, because all the experts in that field say it is, but all the church people go in and say, "nope isn't true" without having any education in the matter.Tell me. Am i totally off base? comment my page.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Deliver me from muttering
I feel like an automaton, I need to return to the only place I love
I need to go back to the face of God
what is that faint noisethat background buzzing
is that my complaint growing thorns around my soul?
Ever finding all that's wrong
when bread comes falling from the sky
I don't like the color
and I have to bend over to pick it up
When I am fed, I am bitter that I must chew my food
a muffled dying, whining drone
bitter and tepid like coffee left out all night
God, Throw out the whole pot and start something better brewing
if it takes heat and pressure let some thanksgiving start to pour
'cause my whining is a slow suffocation
all these carbon monoxide mutters have left me with a headache in heaven
and I need to get your fresh air
You're the only one who loves me
so please give me CPR
and let your breath get me breathing out
grateful truths and thankful hymns,
til the sun comes rolling up over the hills
and the rain comes to wash the dust out of my soul
so I can see how for me everything runs on your love
and how everything is a wrapped up gift
and I can thank you,and we can talk again.
I feel like an automaton, I need to return to the only place I love
I need to go back to the face of God
what is that faint noisethat background buzzing
is that my complaint growing thorns around my soul?
Ever finding all that's wrong
when bread comes falling from the sky
I don't like the color
and I have to bend over to pick it up
When I am fed, I am bitter that I must chew my food
a muffled dying, whining drone
bitter and tepid like coffee left out all night
God, Throw out the whole pot and start something better brewing
if it takes heat and pressure let some thanksgiving start to pour
'cause my whining is a slow suffocation
all these carbon monoxide mutters have left me with a headache in heaven
and I need to get your fresh air
You're the only one who loves me
so please give me CPR
and let your breath get me breathing out
grateful truths and thankful hymns,
til the sun comes rolling up over the hills
and the rain comes to wash the dust out of my soul
so I can see how for me everything runs on your love
and how everything is a wrapped up gift
and I can thank you,and we can talk again.
Adventure!
I got to push a bus last week. I was on the way home, when our bus stopped for a very long time at the intersection. I looked up and saw that the driver was getting out to help the driver of another bus that had stalled in the middle of the intersection blocking all traffic. Apparently she had hit a "dead spot" a part of the electrical power cable that holds no charge (the Seattle buses use electric power within city limits). Our driver came in and let us know it would be a while til a truck could be sent out to tow the other bus out of the way. It was about 11pm by that time, and I knew that if we were delayed that long, I wouldn't get home til about 3am. So I asked the bus driver if I could push it out of the way. He brightened up and said, "you know, it doesn't actually take that much to push one of these things, we could probably do it." I replied, "lets do It!" and jumped up out of my seat. The driver patted a heftyish mexicano guy who was occupying a seat towards the door of the bus and said "come on, you too!" and so the three of us hopped off, rolled up our sleeves, and pushed the bus a good five feet til it passed the dead zone and kept on going on it's own power, the driver waving at us as she left. So we hopped back on our bus, I made it for my transfer, and got home at about midnight.
I got to push a bus last week. I was on the way home, when our bus stopped for a very long time at the intersection. I looked up and saw that the driver was getting out to help the driver of another bus that had stalled in the middle of the intersection blocking all traffic. Apparently she had hit a "dead spot" a part of the electrical power cable that holds no charge (the Seattle buses use electric power within city limits). Our driver came in and let us know it would be a while til a truck could be sent out to tow the other bus out of the way. It was about 11pm by that time, and I knew that if we were delayed that long, I wouldn't get home til about 3am. So I asked the bus driver if I could push it out of the way. He brightened up and said, "you know, it doesn't actually take that much to push one of these things, we could probably do it." I replied, "lets do It!" and jumped up out of my seat. The driver patted a heftyish mexicano guy who was occupying a seat towards the door of the bus and said "come on, you too!" and so the three of us hopped off, rolled up our sleeves, and pushed the bus a good five feet til it passed the dead zone and kept on going on it's own power, the driver waving at us as she left. So we hopped back on our bus, I made it for my transfer, and got home at about midnight.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
I wake up in the Mourning and realise she's not there
What can I do when half of me is gone?
when my heart has flown away on steely wings
with all the warmth that used to clothe my peace
then what is left for me?
When I close my eyes I can see her skin
when I am alone I hear her breathe
I am on pause, I am in a rage
and all the sweet breeze of order
the other half of our metaphor
all the auric beauty that is painted with her name
is vanished like a morning mist
in the deathly light of another day
and I am left sitting in a cage
my T-shirts are my sackcloth
and my showers are all dust
while I say that I am not thinking of her hair
and the smooth curve of her neck
as it slopes like an alder tree to meet her shoulder
when I say I am not reaching for her in my sleep
my blood is beating too hard
for those lies to be believed.
I am an unwilling abstinence
from her face and from her lips
and I am at war with distance.
If I could mail her a kiss
wrap it in satin to keep it soft
could I send her a blank piece of paper
to let her know all the things that need to be spoken
with my cheek touching hers
If i could catch a bird
and teach it to sing
and tell it why I miss her,
how she is like a sunrise
that hasn't come for too many days
than I would convince it to migrate to your side of earth
and tell you the gospel of my love.
And then, maybe then
It would give her its wings
so she could fly back to me.
What can I do when half of me is gone?
when my heart has flown away on steely wings
with all the warmth that used to clothe my peace
then what is left for me?
When I close my eyes I can see her skin
when I am alone I hear her breathe
I am on pause, I am in a rage
and all the sweet breeze of order
the other half of our metaphor
all the auric beauty that is painted with her name
is vanished like a morning mist
in the deathly light of another day
and I am left sitting in a cage
my T-shirts are my sackcloth
and my showers are all dust
while I say that I am not thinking of her hair
and the smooth curve of her neck
as it slopes like an alder tree to meet her shoulder
when I say I am not reaching for her in my sleep
my blood is beating too hard
for those lies to be believed.
I am an unwilling abstinence
from her face and from her lips
and I am at war with distance.
If I could mail her a kiss
wrap it in satin to keep it soft
could I send her a blank piece of paper
to let her know all the things that need to be spoken
with my cheek touching hers
If i could catch a bird
and teach it to sing
and tell it why I miss her,
how she is like a sunrise
that hasn't come for too many days
than I would convince it to migrate to your side of earth
and tell you the gospel of my love.
And then, maybe then
It would give her its wings
so she could fly back to me.
Monday, August 25, 2008
So, I'm repenting in dust and ashes from my earlier complaint about my pastor here. Yesterday's message out of Colossians was very full and filling. I came out much encouraged and re-calibrated to the Truth that's in Jesus. So, I feel really bad about my griping. A good lesson on the dangers of hasty judgement.
Then he announced that he was clearing out his library and had a bunch of books out on the tables in the hall. So after the message I wandered out into wonderland. It was a really good selection too, I made out like a bandit with a partial Church History set and the full set of "The Fundamentals" which I'd been thinking of buying anyway. So I was very happy, walking down the hall with a huges stack of books under my arm, and Pastor John, one of the other staff pastors asked me if I was looking for an outlet to teach the word, and suggested the young (pre-teen) group, but was open to see if something else would suit me better. So I asked for his card and he requested that I call and set up a lunch meeting or something to talk about it. So I'm really excited and feeling blessed about that, since that's kind of the reason I came out here.
After church we all went down to Centralia to my aunt's place so that my dad could see his mom and we could all kind of get together. It was interesting watching them get together and tell stories, my dad and his mom emphasize very different parts of his/their lives. At one point I saw him feeling the back of Jaelle's head for something and I asked what he was looking for, and he said really quickly he was checking her skull shape. His mom and uncle were in the room and always give him a hard time for being "wierd", so he quickly said "Nothing" when granny asked what he said. On the drive home I re-asked the question figuring he'd feel more free to say, and he said he was checking to see if they have anatolian bumps, an ethnically specific bump formation on the back of the skull that indicates Central asian ancestry, he and I both have it. Then he pointed out an alternate scenic route that went through all of his old childhood romping grounds. He kept pointing out historical landmarks and geological landforms like the Tenino Plain from back when he was really into geology and archaeology.
I've really enjoyed having my dad with us, we've been staying up all hours of the night talking for the last three nights. He's telling me all about Korea, his life as a young man, a lot of the reasoning behind all our moves and life changes when I was too little to care or remember, a lot of philosophy and anthropology and Cultural information about Korea, Japan and the surrounding areas, it's very rare that I get someone just to ask questions of for a long period who can fill me in on a lot of things I'm curious about. He's also very fun to talk with about the paranormal. I have a little handheld MP3 recorder that I'd bought in MN to record family conversations, but I have forgotten to turn it on for almost every one of the really good conversations we've had.
He took us out for Mexican food the other day, at a little Taqueria down the street, that was nice, although I have a hard time taking things from him. The kids have been swarming him every time he comes out of the room for stories and wrestling and questions, and he's been trying to teach them some korean and little tidbits of linguistics, they've been having a blast.
Josiah said he doesn't look old "'cause he doesn't have any stripes, and that's how you get old, you get a lot of stripes"
(read "wrinkles")
That got us all a good laugh. I really do hope and pray that he will come to believe in Jesus of Nazareth again, that's the only way I can see that things could be any better.
Then he announced that he was clearing out his library and had a bunch of books out on the tables in the hall. So after the message I wandered out into wonderland. It was a really good selection too, I made out like a bandit with a partial Church History set and the full set of "The Fundamentals" which I'd been thinking of buying anyway. So I was very happy, walking down the hall with a huges stack of books under my arm, and Pastor John, one of the other staff pastors asked me if I was looking for an outlet to teach the word, and suggested the young (pre-teen) group, but was open to see if something else would suit me better. So I asked for his card and he requested that I call and set up a lunch meeting or something to talk about it. So I'm really excited and feeling blessed about that, since that's kind of the reason I came out here.
After church we all went down to Centralia to my aunt's place so that my dad could see his mom and we could all kind of get together. It was interesting watching them get together and tell stories, my dad and his mom emphasize very different parts of his/their lives. At one point I saw him feeling the back of Jaelle's head for something and I asked what he was looking for, and he said really quickly he was checking her skull shape. His mom and uncle were in the room and always give him a hard time for being "wierd", so he quickly said "Nothing" when granny asked what he said. On the drive home I re-asked the question figuring he'd feel more free to say, and he said he was checking to see if they have anatolian bumps, an ethnically specific bump formation on the back of the skull that indicates Central asian ancestry, he and I both have it. Then he pointed out an alternate scenic route that went through all of his old childhood romping grounds. He kept pointing out historical landmarks and geological landforms like the Tenino Plain from back when he was really into geology and archaeology.
I've really enjoyed having my dad with us, we've been staying up all hours of the night talking for the last three nights. He's telling me all about Korea, his life as a young man, a lot of the reasoning behind all our moves and life changes when I was too little to care or remember, a lot of philosophy and anthropology and Cultural information about Korea, Japan and the surrounding areas, it's very rare that I get someone just to ask questions of for a long period who can fill me in on a lot of things I'm curious about. He's also very fun to talk with about the paranormal. I have a little handheld MP3 recorder that I'd bought in MN to record family conversations, but I have forgotten to turn it on for almost every one of the really good conversations we've had.
He took us out for Mexican food the other day, at a little Taqueria down the street, that was nice, although I have a hard time taking things from him. The kids have been swarming him every time he comes out of the room for stories and wrestling and questions, and he's been trying to teach them some korean and little tidbits of linguistics, they've been having a blast.
Josiah said he doesn't look old "'cause he doesn't have any stripes, and that's how you get old, you get a lot of stripes"
(read "wrinkles")
That got us all a good laugh. I really do hope and pray that he will come to believe in Jesus of Nazareth again, that's the only way I can see that things could be any better.
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