Work's getting exciting again, lots of drunks and thieves, and drunken thieves!

Just wrapping up what turned out to be a trying week. First, via a scheduling mistake I missed about six hours worth of very important and expensive meetings on Tuesday (which I've gotten a letter of reprimand for), then being told on Wednesday I couldn't be financed for the Lasik appointment I was supposed to have Thursday, which was the biggest bummer because I've been looking forward to that particular appointment for about a month and been wearing glasses (no contacts) for about that long in preparation. I've rescheduled for February, so I can figure out what's going on with my credit & possibly save enough so I don't have to do the CareCredit thing. I have wanted to get Lasik for about a decade, so that was the biggest letdown. Then there was breaking my toe the day before missing the meetings on a dumbell the kids had hidden under a jacket in the dining room. I've also been tense because my second big Biology test which I took this friday. Still waiting for the results on that one.

Brandy can tell you I was very melodramatic about all this. Since Friday I think I've been able to rein it in a bit. I do want to curb the habit of telling people my problems, as it seems I'm always more eager to tell them then they are to listen-even if they ask-and It doesn't help much. The whole deal did help me realize that my stamina for disaster has gone way down. I managed to say "blessed be the name of the lord" but with a very sour face. I'd prefer to be to the point character-wisewhere I could honestly sing a worship song in similar circumstances.

Our microwave has developed a Zeus complex. The other day as Brandy was heating up some peas in a bowl it began throwing lightning around inside and making a loud snapping noise...not a good sign. So remembering a couple years ago in St. Paul when our then-microwave spontaneously combusted I had Brandy unplug it until we can figure out what's wrong or throw it away.
As a man once sung - "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got til it's gone..." I had to heat up my cold coffee by dumping some boiling water into it. Just not the same.
Radioactive cube of convenience, why have you failed us?

And yet, Romans 8:28 is in full effect. Though He slay my microwave, yet will I trust Him.

Screwed up in a big way. I missed about six hours of meetings at work because I thought they were tomorrow and because I'd left my cell on "silent". I'm gonna get chewed out either way, but pray for me that nothing worse than that comes of it, and that my name won't top the shame list at work for the next six months.

It's been a long time.

Today I did pretty much nothing.  Nothing productive, anyway.  Brandy & I watched about 10 episodes of Saiunkoku, afterward I researched for far too long to see if there was a third season coming out and if Shuurei marries Seiran like I hope she does.  I read a couple chapters of N.T. Wright's "Evil & the Justice of God" and G.K. Chesterton's "Everlasting Man" (which I started and got 3/4 of the way through a couple months ago only to put aside until now) Watched the 2nd half of Visual Bible's "Gospel of John" with Josiah, layed around a LOT, ate pizza, wrestled with Josiah & Jaelle, watched the kids, tried to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and got halfway through before I realised we had no peanut butter, and talked with Brandy about this general feeling I've been having.

Do you ever feel like there's something you should be doing, something that matters, but you can't really put a finger on it?  Not necessarily something you knew you were going to do and forgot, more like something you know you should know, if only you knew how to find out.  Oftentimes even at work I feel that way.  As if 99% of what I do in any given day (even work) is recreation, and like I'm missing this whole other plane of accomplishing.  Almost like I've forgotten to go to work, but I don't know that I'm employed.  I try to do things that I know I should do, like take out the garbage, and pay bills, and read my bible, but it's not any of those-even they feel like recreation, like "my time".  

It feels like I'm missing the Necessary, the Thing that Matters.  I've decided it must be the will of God.  I need to seek the will of God.   Not for a "big" thing, but just for all my vacuous hours, when I'm laying around the house, or reading, or working, or whatever, it's like another layer that needs to be superimposed over normal life and reorder it.

I wish sometimes that it were a list that could print off every day, that I could check it off, get it done, and not have this feeling afterwards.  But it's not like that.  These things, the will of God, seems to be scattered all throughout the day, so I can't just set aside some time for it-because I never know what it will be or when.  I just know I need to figure out what it is.