Regarding my last Blog.
It seems like when I come up against an apparent problem like the last one, or like a couple years ago with my questions about the apparent irreconcileability of the Gospel resurrection narratives, I have a problem. I tend to friek out a bit, and in my frieking out I transgress in a way that Job did not. I come very close to accusing God. I talked to Brandy about this, concerned because it doesn't seem right, and yet my upset-ness is the thing that drives me on for answers. And seeking and finding answers I am convinced is a good thing that pleases God.
Brandy said that the only thing that came to her mind was "Work out your Salvation in Fear and Trembling"; a passage from Philippians that I assumed I was familiar with. So I typed in "Fear Trembling" into the Biblegateway search engine, and the NT verses that came up all have to do with approaching God in one way or another (in one case approaching a servant of God). The Phil. verse in particular follows up this phrase with "Do everything without complaining or arguing"
So this, I believe, is my problem. I need to find a way to approach these things with fear and trembling, since in approaching them I approach God. Somehow I must maintain a strong desire for answers, but to avoid my flippant flirting with annoyance towards the LORD God almighty - who could squish me very righteously and easily, but has not yet.
So, I repent in dust and ashes and ask my God and Father to forgive me, and I ask for you, dear reader not to emulate my bad attitude of the past, and I ask finally for a more reverent heart to seek answers to future questions.
4 comments:
Amen,
yet I would still cry out as the old testament servants who complained that God wasn't paying attention.
I have no place to mew since God seems to favor me unprecedentedly, or maybe that is because I am a big whine, ball baby and the squeeky kid gets fed!
In all my meager sufferings and temptations of faith I have found one truth that brings down every doubt,
I know this:
That God IS Good
and that he loves us.
I don't say this as a flippant christianeezem, I say it as something that has grown out of my wrestlings with my dissapointment with the way that I see things going in the world and at times in my own life.
We are favored, and I would greatly encourage you to continue to seek God on all matters, and continue to research and tug on the hem of his garment for the answers to what breaks your heart.
I would hazard a statement that these things are precious to him, when what breaks his heart, breaks ours.
I am so encouraged by seeing this in your nature. Very encouraged, since you are going to be a priest ministering to the flock you should care about suffering, and it should break your heart and you should cry out in heartbreak to God concerning these things, so that he can teach you so that you can bind up the broken and speak words of eternal healing and enduring truth to those of his fold. Don't you think so?!
I have been very stirred by the last few posts as I also struggle with the same. I am lacking in the fear and trembling department because I know I do not comprehend the Greatness of our God.
I have the audacity to say I believe He created the world in seven days out of sheer nothingness and yet I question Him on things that are so irrelevant to His greatness. Relevant in my petty mind but not in the grand scheme of things. I so desire at times to be like my husband who can take things as they are and not be full of questions and doubt about it, but God made me this way and hopefully, it will draw me nearer to Him when I question (question, not challenge, my dad has warned me about that)
I'm not so sure that they're irrelevant to His greatness, he seemed pretty upset with Bildad, Eliphaz and Zophar when they got it wrong.
True, not irrelevant. However in the light of all He has done (made the world, made mankind and then sent us a saviour...) the little things each day that cause me to doubt just FEEL stupid. I know my questions aren't stupid and the Lord is faithful to show me His provision of knowledge through the word, it just feels like in the light of everything else, I shouldn't have these questions and doubts so often.
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